I don't know if it has to do with nature or nurture, but I know that my typical way of solving problems or dealing with difficulty is to just work harder. As an amateur runner, it's a terrible trait: "My ankle is really hurting right now, I think I just need to press on a little farther and it will go away." "I can't figure out this situation, I think I'll just stay at work till six pm reading these articles about the topic until I figure it out." It is my natural tendency.
Thankfully, I have been becoming more aware of it and realizing that often I compound the difficulty by trying harder. I know, it sounds wrong to say that there is something not ok with "try try again." But in my case, trying LESS is much more difficult. I am learning to be kinder to myself, to listen to my body better, to say "it's enough" and let it go.
What I see happens when I loosen the grip and say "it's ok" is that a space opens up that allows a more human and real connection to happen. Whether the connection is between me and children, or me and the environment, or me and well, just me, it feels better. I feel better. Things around me feel better.