What Lies Within Us

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are all small matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson


This week I experienced one of the many rewards of being a Montessori teacher. Two of the oldest girls at school self initiated a research project completely on their own, and proudly delivered it to the class some days later. They were able to do this for so many reasons that are related to the genius behind the Montessori environment. Among them: they were free to choose their work, they were free to work on what they selected for as long as they wanted, they've had 2 years of experience confidently communicating with other children and felt comfortable and supported by the group, they've developed interests and have had the freedom to pursue them, they have independently developed the skills to allow them to carry out a work of this nature.

It was a pleasure to watch these girls bring their unique gifts to the project.

The girls are five and six years old, and all they said to me was "We want to make a project", so I said "Ok, make me a list of what you will need." (The oldest children often make me materials lists for things they have in mind for making.)

They found all the library books in our library about dolphins and read them to each other. They then wrote out a presentation, including the way they would introduce each other to the group.




Then they illustrated a poster and brought dolphin pictures they'd printed out from home to glue onto it (the poster also had jellyfish with bows on their heads drawn on it).






They then locked themselves in our little school library with the xylophone for a long time. It turns out that they were composing a song on the topic for closing the presentation. And at the end they wrote out invitations to the presentation and handed them out the morning of the presentation.




(I got invited too!)

The children were asked to bring chairs onto the porch if they wanted to watch the presentation. Everyone came.




The girls read their presentation with glowing faces. It was funny and interesting, and very inspiring! At the end, they performed the song they'd composed. It starts "Dolphins are so sweet, they like humans..."





To me, this was a testament of how, when given the right conditions, a child can rise to their true potential.

Telling True Stories

It has become a habit for the children to ask me at lunch time to tell them a story about what I did the day before. This started on a day I told a true story during lunch about how I locked myself out of my house the previous day while leaving a pot of rice to cook on the stove. The silence in the lunch room as I recounted how I unsuccessfully tried to climb in through the tiny bathroom window, from where I could see the smoke starting to rise from the burning rice in the pot, how my feet got murdered by mosquitoes as the daylight quickly faded, how I had the (brilliant) idea of turning off the gas tanks therefore cutting the gas from the stove. It was one of the best true stories I've told this year and I often get asked to tell it again.

I am impressed at how much attention a good true story will garner from the children. It is hands down the best way to get their undivided attention during a group meeting. And they remember every detail- as I find when I review the story with them through the "Question Game". At night, I'm often thinking way back into my past trying to find a good story to tell them about when I was their age, how I saw things, mistakes I made, things I found valuable.

It reminds me of the importance of oral tradition as a way to pass on culture, values, and beliefs. Also, how in a world that overly stimulates the visual sense, what a treat it is to listen to a good story and find that the pictures from the story start to appear in your own mind!

I love stories and am a huge fan of podcasts such as The Moth, This American Life, and Selected Shorts , particularly the first, where people tell stories live and without any notes.

Touching back on training and the purposes of a true story in the classroom, they are a great way of modeling to a child how to express ideas clearly and in logical sequence (and the concept that stories HAVE ENDINGS.) And what I see most clearly reflected back to me from our own work with true stories, they are a preparation for the child to tell their own stories in oral or written form.

I also love it when I get my own story told back to me, from the point of view of a child. It's as if sometimes, just because you were able to imagine you were there, the story becomes your experience too.

No rush.

I really liked this:


am thinking about
looking inward
and not outward.

knowing that you, alone,
are enough.
do all that you can
with all that you have.
in your space
in your time.

do not wish to be
in someone else's shoes.
they will not fit.
be brave
go barefoot.



(from here )

Inspiration.

I watched this clip some weeks ago and haven't been able to get over it. There is something so special going on there...

Vipassana and Montessori

It is hard to put life changing experiences into words sometimes. When I try, it feels like I'm devaluing the experience somehow, or am not making it justice by defining it. But with the intention of sharing what was one of the most important events of my life, I will try!

The spiritual preparation of the teacher has been on my mind since taking Montessori training in 2003. The idea that you have to work on yourself first so that you can fulfill the more important aspects of education (modeling character, love of life and learning) has been an aspect of Montessori training that really appeals to me. At the refresher course last February, which was on the topic of Observation, the parts related to self observation really fundamentally impacted me and I've been thinking about them ever since.

Spring Break was coming up, and instead of staying home to file all the children's finished work that is bulging out of their individual folders, I decided to enroll in a meditation course. I went to North Fork in California for a 10 day Vipassana course. I have to say that before the course, my experience with meditation was very limited- basically sitting for short periods trying to keep my mind free of thoughts. And I'd never attended any kind of silence retreat, or meditation program in the past. All of it was new to me.

I heard about Vipassana from the wife of a friend of a friend (= very randomly), she mentioned it during a hike we went on, and for some reason the name stuck. She described it as a silent retreat where you get to know your mind very well, and you learn a technique for how to observe it without reacting. She said it helped her cultivate mindfulness in her life. Sounded like something that could be very useful for work (and life!).

I researched it when I got home, and found that the course is a serious, pragmatic, and non sectarian introduction to the very ancient technique of meditation called Vipassana, which means "to see things as they really are". These kinds of phrases on the website called my attention:

"This direct experience of our own inner reality, this technique of self-observation, is what is called Vipassana meditation."

"Whenever negativity arises in the mind, just observe it, face it."

"Those who regularly practice Vipassana become more sensitive to the sufferings of others, and do their utmost to relieve suffering in whatever way they can—not with any agitation, but with a mind full of love, compassion and equanimity. "


It sounded very complimentary to the idea of spiritual preparation of the teacher described by Montessori:

"The training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than the learning of ideas. It includes the training of character; it is a preparation of the spirit. "

"It is not enough for the teacher to love the child. She must first love and understand the universe. She must prepare herself, and truly work at it. "

"In their dealings with children adults do not become egotistic but egocentric. They look upon everything pertaining to a child's soul from their own point of view and, consequently, their misapprehensions increase. "


Many aspects of the course are easily associated with ideas commonly used in Montessori...



Work through the Senses

The technique taught revolves on the observation of sensations on the body. That means that during meditation, instead of imagining or visualizing anything, you are just observing what you feel on your own skin without judging it. Tie in to Montessori: "There is nothing in the intellect which was not first in some way in the senses", and senses being explorers of the world, open the way to knowledge." By practicing equanimity when you observe the sensations (at a very refined level), this is practice for observing outside occurrences and likewise remaining equanimous.


The Prepared Environment

The environment in which the course is taught includes physical and mental aspects. The location for the course was a beautiful campus on the outskirts of Yosemite National Park. It included a peaceful little lake, mountains all around, a little orchard, and lots of wildlife. Men and women were in separate living quarters and only met for group meditation. And the mental aspects of the environment included taking a vow of Noble Silence (of speech, and mind) and following a rigorous schedule that included about 10 hours of meditation per day. All of it is designed to really facilitate the work (self observation) and deep concentration necessary of each participant so that they may really benefit from the course. It is a perfectly prepared environment conducive to that work.


Concentration and Individual Work

Meditating involves cultivating a deep concentration and presence. When you are doing it for 10 hours a day, after a few days the mindfulness spreads to all of your activities. You begin to observe yourself when walking, eating, and even when trying to go to sleep. The emphasis on the transformative powers of concentration reminded me not only of Montessori, but of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book, "Flow" where he talks about "how to live life as a work of art, rather than as a chaotic response to external events..." All of your mind energy is focused on the internal occurrences, rather than on what is happening outside. Through silence, and lack of any type of communication with people around you, it becomes an extremely independent work.

It is stressed during the evening discourses (more about that later) about how only you, yourself, can do the work conducive to your own development. I remember thinking a lot about the phrase "You have to walk your own path", and in retrospect it reminds me of how I think about children at school needing to make their own choices, and how their development is also exclusively dependent on them doing things themselves. The teacher, Goenka (more on him later), also stresses that we should only accept an idea or teaching after we've experienced it for ourselves. He suggests, contrary to the popular parent reaction or teacher attitude of "because I said so", that independent experience of the benefits of a practice are necessary before adopting it.


Development of Character

One of the contextual aspects of the course which was very striking to me is that everyone and everything involved in the creation of the course is funded through donations from participants who have completed the course. It is free of charge to anyone who wants to apply. At a physical level, every meal (and they are delicious and varied fresh meals), the dormitories (which are simple but clean, heated, include hot water), the meditation hall, the natural grounds, this is very impressive. But the part that was inspirational was that all the people working there were also serving as volunteers. Even the assistant teachers and managers are not remunerated for their work. The generosity and care shown by the staff is moving. All the people that manage the course really make it clear that they are there to help you succeed. The atmosphere that this kind of attitude generates moves one to feel impelled to mirror it in ones own life. It is easy to understand the concept of giving at an intellectual level, but to see it and experience it in practice all around you is very touching- and it definitely creates a momentum!




Of course, this type of deep introspection can be very painful at times, frustrating, and emotional. And the body is not used to sitting for such long hours in general, and you do experience a degree of physical pain. Assistant teachers are available every day to answer questions regarding your practice, and managers are there to help with alternatives when there is difficulty with the sitting. Another one of the main precepts underlined in the course is the law of impermanence. Understanding that all of it, the mental pain, physical pain, and even the experience at the course itself will pass is an important part of the work. You really get to experience the truth of that statement in all kinds of ways, and begin to take real respite in that fact.

The discourses given at the end of the day (the only form of media that you are exposed during the 10 days) are the most helpful guides to the personal experience one is having. They are imparted by S.N. Goenka, the leading worldwide teacher of Vipassana meditation. He is an excellent speaker and his lectures are delivered in a manner that is very logical, clear, and with humor (which is so necessary when you are dealing with so much mentally and physically). He also introduces the concept of "Dhamma", which is a term that has no sectarian connotation, but means "a path to enlightenment." It can be seen like a method that includes the teachings of Buddha, laws of nature applied to the human experience, and as a support to the work one is trying to cultivate through meditating. Goenka is an inspiring and wonderful teacher.


Of course, I am sharing all of this as my own particular experience of the course, and other people may have internalized it in a completely different way. I read many reviews of the course before I signed up, and some of them were very negative (though mostly from people who didn't complete the course, and thus missed out on really seeing the whole picture of it), and some of them were extremely positive. It is stated time and time again, that one must complete the 10 days in order to get a complete idea about the technique- and I found that to be very true personally! In order to give the experience a full trial, it is not possible to do only part of the course- it really all comes together in the end.


Emerging from the course, immediate results I see are:

- Increased mindfulness about myself and others. I am more aware of my actions, words, and intentions.

- More patience with myself and others. Patient with mistakes, with things happening outside of me.

- Less restlessness and anxiousness. My life has slowed down quite a bit, and I have cut down on a lot of activity that I was doing in the past as a form of distraction from the mental distress.

- Increased desire to serve others without needing anything in return. I am becoming more aware of other people's needs.

- More balance in my emotional responses. I am feeling less extremes in my emotional life.


In order to continue to benefit from the course, it is recommended to the participants to continue to practice daily. Quickly I found the times I sit to meditate at the beginning and end of the day to be necessary for my wellbeing (just as before, and still, I find at least an hour of physical exercise a day are necessary for me to feel good).

I am so grateful that this kind of opportunity is available to anyone who wants to experience it, and recommend this course to anyone really, but especially as an extension or manifestation of the spiritual preparation of the Montessori teacher.


Here is the course website: http://www.dhamma.org/


PS. Coincidentally, the assistant teacher to the course I took in North Fork, Karen Donovan, is also an Elementary Montessori teacher. When I asked her questions about the practice during the interviews, not knowing about her background but her knowing about mine, she tailored her responses and framed them in ideas about child development, which made so much sense to me!

"The opposite of play is not work, it's depression."

Hard Times

"The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world." Lao Tzu

("When times are the hardest is when you have to be the softest.") (Especially with ourselves.)

Words.

I attended a new yoga class yesterday, and some phrases are still lit in my mind. I thought they were perfect for working with:

"Observe the quality of your being in this moment."

"Take in the totality of the landscape before you, accept it."

"You are free now."

"Be light with yourself."

Let's Get Together and Sing

Last week we had our yearly Sing Along at school. It is really my favorite school event of the year.

In preparation for the Sing Along I chose the songs we'd sing this year early on and we have been organically incorporating them into our daily singing since August. By the time the Sing Along neared, we just had to decide who wanted to sing what because the children all knew the songs well. Children naturally identified with a specific song and you could tell by the enthusiasm in their voice when they sang.

So that families would know the songs as well, I burned CD's for them with the main songs and added it to the invitation for the evening two weeks prior to the event. It was touching to see the parents drop off their children at school in the morning and hear the songs blasting from their cars!

There were 13 songs in total, and for some songs, one child would solo the song first, then the group of children would sing with the child, and finally all the parents and friends would sing the song together. Some songs were sung only once by one child, or by a small group of children.


This year we invited friends to join the families for the evening. Our tiny school was packed!

Jessica's father is a professional musician and we were lucky to have him join us on his electric guitar. This really added depth to the music, since my guitar playing is fairly simple.



I have added our song list and chords HERE. Commentary from parents was very positive about how the songs chosen were very uplifting and really made us feel a sense of togetherness.

There are few things that bind people's hearts together like singing!


We lined up our school walkway with lanterns, and decorated the entrance of our school:



Inside, the chairs with children's nametags were lined up and ready. The parents and friends were aranged in a circle around them.



After the program, we celebrated the school's second year with a beautiful cake(donated by a parent- never seen anything like it- with the children's picture lasered onto the icing!) and sang Happy Birthday.

Working with wood and tools

I'd love to have a shelf in the classroom devoted exclusively to materials related to tools and wood working. It's so hard to resist when I go to the hardware store and there is a tool that looks like it's made for small hands. I've had my partner make us some materials based on the function of some tools and hardware and they are really popular in the classroom. The control of error is really clear, the materials require lots of concentration and careful work with the hands, and since there are usually a number of screws to put in or take out, repetition is built into the material. And although you can't see it in the picture, each set of blocks has a builder's triangle chiseled out on one side so that the children know how to join the blocks so that all the screws will fit.

If you like this kind of thing too, there is a fantastic little book called "Children Can Build" by Susan Scheibenzuber from Laughing Star Montessori complete with presentations to be given on a little classroom workbench for projects using wood and real tools. It includes presentations such as:

Sawing Sticks
Sawing Foam Core
Using a Hand Drill
Using a Sanding Block
Using a Vise

I dream that one day we'll have our own workbench too!


In the meantime, this is what we have:

Using a Philips screw driver to join two blocks of wood:





Using a Flathead screw driver to join two blocks of wood:



Using a hex key to join two blocks of wood together (Warning- this is a dangerous one to teach the children when most of your furniture comes from Ikea):



Putting two blocks together using bolts, washers and wing nuts:



Not pictured because they are yet to be put on the shelf:

Hammering into a block of wood and removing the nails.

Polishing wood with linseed oil.

Inner Observation

Observation takes some serious self discipline. It is hard to stay focused in a room that is sometimes loud, when a child is rolling around the floor, when the three hours go by so fast and lessons could be given! I have to hold my energy back and my judgment. Sometimes what I really "need to be doing" at those moments is to just sit there, observe without judging, see what is really there. In the end, that is a much better starting point for responding to the children's needs than my sometimes frantic putting out of fires.

Based on the fantastic lecture given by Molly O'Shaughnessy at the AMI Refresher Course that took place a few weeks ago in Florida, Jessica and I have put together a list of self observation tasks that we will practice and discuss at each weeks end.

Concentration takes practice! I think that beyond that, focused observation takes humility, friendliness with error, and honesty. Especially when it comes to self observation. Whatever we find within ourselves by the end of the weeks, we will try to improve on by practicing deliberately. Repetition, just like the children.

Tasks:

Notice words and phrases that you repeat a lot each day. Notice how you are saying them. Write them down. Are they effectively communicating your intention? Is there a better/clearer/more respectful way to say what you are trying to say?

Notice exactly what you are modeling when you are taking to a child. Visualize being/feeling how you want the child to behave/feel.

Notice what you are saying to yourself during the day. Notice how the hour and your level of energy. If you are noticing yourself becoming tired/anxious/impatient is there something you can do to help yourself? Ex: take a break, take out the yoga mat, have a snack, go outside for a minute, do the individual silence exercise. During those moments, practice thinking new and positive thoughts.

Examine your preconceived notions and assumptions about each child. Notice what you say about each child. Notice your judgments and recognize that they may be erroneous. Practice visualizing the child at his best. Recognize the child's progress, regardless of how minimal.

Attend to your own focus, mindfulness and attention. What are you concentrating on? Practice paying attention to everything that is going beautifully.

Create space for observations. Take time to observe each other and the opportunity to learn from each other through these observations.